Driving Me Crazy

As every soccer mom worth her kids’ cleats knows, parenthood is:
  • 20% cooking/cleaning/laundry, etc.
  • 10% nagging
  • 20% teaching valuable lessons, like “Don’t roll your eyes at me or they’ll stay that way forever”
  • 50% driving kids all over God’s green creation to every practice, game, rehearsal, recital, playdate, birthday party (usually they arrive in two’s or three’s on the same weekend), club meeting, competition, performance, open house, dance, or ceremony.

With three daughters in different sports, activities, even schools, I keep the big oil companies well in the black while keeping my soccer mom-necessary SUV full of the black stuff. I easily log 250+ miles a week out on those mean city streets. And in doing so, I’ve gained some important insights not only in driving, but in basic human nature as well. These insights can be summed up in three simple words:

PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS

With my teenage daughter a mere two months away from driving lessons, I think it’s important to pass along this valuable rule. I even skimmed through a book, Traffic: Why We Drive the Way We Do (And What it Says About Us), by Tom Vanderbilt, trying to determine if my daily driving frustrations are isolated to me. Ha! Vanderbilt helped me realize that:

PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS!

Notice the exclamation point! It’s as if everyone has been reading this:

So, in order to assist all parents of soon-to-be-drivers out there, as well as the rest of you just trying to get to work and back each day, I’ve compiled the following road signs which the BMV should consider posting ASAP:

NOT!

 

Your kissing my bumper will not make me drive any faster!

 

Five cars cannot zip through the yellow light before it turns red!

Pick a lane and please, just stay there!

 

Your cool factor does not increase with your bass line!

 

If it's dark, foggy or rainy, I can't see you without your headlights, Moron!

 

If you zip past a mile of barely-crawling cars and expect to be let in at the last minute, forget it!

So the next time you’re out there behind the wheel, remember it’s not you that you have to worry so much about, it’s all the OTHER drivers who will be driving you crazy!

Keep your cool and your sense of humor about you and you’ll soon be arriving at your child’s third birthday party in a day with seconds to spare and your sanity intact (don’t roll your eyes at me, they may stick that way!).

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One response to “Driving Me Crazy

  1. Love it and yes people are idiots.

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